Questions I’m Asking Myself About Living My Truth
Why am I so terrified?
I recently started exploring my personal brand.
It’s something I’ve tried to identify and define for years but always struggled.
I felt that my interests and experiences, education and profession, didn’t all belong together.
But when I took a step back and looked at what was motivating me to find harmony among all the different parts of me, the questions started and the answer was clear.
What if my brand is as simple as being about self-expression?
Expression of femininity, equality, spirituality, style, creativity… the freedom to EXPRESS YOURSELF.
I think that is what I’m truly craving but at the same time absolutely terrified of: freely expressing myself without self judgement. Putting myself in my ten-year-old shoes where I had no inhibitions, or preconceived notions — I hadn’t learned the rules yet of what it meant to be an adult woman. I might be channeling Glennon Doyle’s Untamed here but it’s true: most of my adult-life (in other words, almost ten years in my professional career), has been building, maintaining, primping, and embodying, a strong business woman.
What if I could be a strong free-minded business woman?
One who was passionate about her spirituality, looked to the lake and sky for answers, experimented with dying her hair pink, and threw dance parties on the fly because it just. Feels. Good. What if my woo-woo-ness isn’t a matter of changing but digging deep to uncover the woman I’m meant to be; the woman who lives her truth day-in and day-out.
Imagine how powerful and strong that woman could be?
I want to express myself in the same way movement makes me feel whole. The way it fills my body with energy, life; filling the cracks, crevices, and open holes created by years of high expectations, pressure, and stress, most of which I put on myself. I don’t need to meet anybody else’s standard — only my own. I need to be the best me, and no one else.
I want to be able to express myself in a way that is heard, respected, listened to.
I want to help drive equality in STEM by actively being engaged in what’s going on, speaking for those who can’t, and not sitting back waiting for my turn… or even worse, turning a blind eye. It hurts me to think of the times I didn’t do anything because I didn’t even realize what was happening…
I want to feel light, not heavy and dragged down by all the chaos and confusion surrounding a working woman.
I want to create movement where I feel free to express myself.
That is likely why I feel this affinity towards Kinrgy and a revelation every time I take a class. The permission to freely express myself is liberating: it sends energy rushing through my veins to my heart, spreading across my body and filling my soul. Whether I cried or laughed during the class, I always leave feeling happier, lighter, fuller.
I feel as though I’ve tapped into something during this isolation.
Something I’ve only just scratched the surface of. I’ve uncovered a part of me that yearns to learn, to take it all in, to feel the words, the movement, and the stillness… It makes me want to understand others’ creative journeys and wrap myself up in their self expression to see what permeates and sinks in; what sources provide me with what I’m seeking in a given moment, whether that’s love, perspective, inspiration, emotion, gratitude…
All guiding me to live my truth and expressing myself in the best way I know how — words.
