How To Feel Seen By Showing Up As All Parts Of Yourself

7 simple steps you can start implementing today

Kirsten Schmidtke
5 min readApr 28, 2021
Photo by Darius Bashar on Unsplash

For a long time I struggled with how to define myself. I found myself spending time trying to reconcile all the different parts of who I was into a neat little package that made sense to everyone else.

I thought if I could wrap up all of my experiences, passions, and ambitions into one “title”, I could present myself to the world in a way that was easier for them to see.

Over time, it became easier to be the part of myself that the current environment or circumstances required, and to save the rest for a different day:

At work I started to subdue my style as not to attract attention to myself and fit in.

I would only talk about my passion projects when around other creatives and solopreneurs.

My wellness journey was next to nonexistent as I worried if I shared my spiritual journey I wouldn’t be taken seriously.

I was tapping into my creativity through dancing, writing, and designing for my small business but was constantly in fear of sharing outside of my small social circle.

I couldn’t see a path forward where all of these different parts of me could co-exist in a way that made sense to everyone else.

Needless to say, repeatedly changing hats became exhausting. Even worse: it was starting to leave me unsure of who I was.

By a stroke of luck or divine intervention, I embarked on my spiritual journey at the same time I decided to get serious about my personal brand. While doing the inner work to connect with my truth, I noticed it starting to show up on the outside as well.

I began to embrace all facets of who I was and discovered that being multi-passionate was in fact a blessing and not a curse.

Further, during the process I discovered that I already had everything I needed to be who I wanted to be. I already had everything I needed to show up in the way I wanted to: completely and unapologetically as myself.

I had learned an important lesson that America Fererra perfectly summarizes:

“My identity isn’t my obstacle, my identity is my superpower.” — America Fererra

Showing up completely as yourself is liberating: you feel more confident, capable, and effective in all parts of your life.

In my experience, it takes work in the form of a relentless commitment to yourself. And with the right approach, it won’t feel like work at all.

Find a daily practice

In other words, take time out of your day for yourself and make it a daily ritual.

Regardless of the amount of time you have, this is critical to connecting to your knowing and your truth. Whether it’s yoga, journaling, meditation, or 5 interrupted minutes with your morning coffee, take the time to listen.

Your body has more wisdom than you know and by letting that inner voice be heard, you will start to feel your true nature come alive.

Find a way to express yourself

And allow it to be in a way that comes naturally to you.

I believe that when you feel fully expressed, you are able to show up completely as yourself.

After all, self expression is self care.

We’re all searching for something to keep us going, to keep us connected to who we are, and to help us take care of ourselves so we can be there for others.

Creativity allows us to connect with our inner child while feeling inhibited and alive. It’s where the magic happens.

“A creative life is an amplified life. It’s a bigger life, an expanded life, and a hell of a lot more interesting life…. creative living is where Big Magic will always abide.” — Elizabeth Gilbert

The key to creativity? Don’t overthink it. Whether you want to dance, write, garden, or build Lego, go where the spirit takes you!

Find a passion project

Whether full time employee or entrepreneur, it’s important that we don’t define ourselves by our 9to5.

I believe that passion projects are born from a need for something deeper: a “why” within yourself that is calling you to fulfill your purpose.

Let curiosity lead you if the word “passion” sounds overwhelming and all-consuming.

With curiosity as your guide, you will continue to discover new interests. Each one leading to another, then another, until you find something you can’t live without.

Find the right type of help

And pay for it if you need to.

As hard as we try, we can’t do it alone. Work with a mentor, a coach, or a friend to help bring out the best of you and to help you push past limiting beliefs. The right person will help you to feel worthy and as a result, empowered and comfortable in your own skin.

Sometimes an outside, objective perspective is all we need to shift our mindset and embrace all parts of ourselves for what they are: gifts.

Unique, precious gems — some of which we were born with, others that we have collected along the way.

Find your own definition of the word ‘balance’

I’m a firm believer that work-life balance doesn’t exist, but rather life in general is one big balancing act.

Each of us has varying responsibilities and as a result, creating balance in our lives is going to be different for everyone.

We have to balance our time, our work, our hobbies, our finances, our emotions, our diets… in short, it’s a lot.

By defining balance for yourself, you control which parts of you you give away and which parts you keep to stay true to yourself.

Find a way to share your story

The best way to feel seen? Share your story.

Put it out there for the world to witness.

It doesn’t mean you have to publish online or bare your soul on social media, but rather commit to being yourself and sharing yourself with the world around you.

If the world wide web is your thing, then by all means, get your story out there! If you’ve ever been curious about what it feels like to hit publish on your story, let me tell you it’s not as scary as you think. People will commend you for being brave long before judging you for the content.

Let this be your permission slip to get that story out there for the world to hear.

Find a community that supports you

Community has the power to lift you up, to see you, to embrace you exactly how you are.

It creates space for us to tell our stories and for our voices to be heard, to impact change.

If you can’t find a group of like-minded people who represent your values and create a safe environment to share, create one!

That’s what I did.

In my struggles to show up completely as myself, I realized I needed support from those who were working full-time jobs and had creative pursuits too.

My goal was to create a community where multi-passionate professionals thrive. You can join us here.

What I’ve shared might feel like a lot at once, but believe me that doing the work today will help you in showing up tomorrow.

No matter the results, at the end of the day be kind to yourself.

Remember it’s a journey.

As humans we are constantly learning, growing and evolving, and you deserve to be witnessed as you blossom into the next beautiful version of you.

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Kirsten Schmidtke

As a woman in tech, fashion-entrepreneur, and feminist writer, I teach women how to thrive in the corporate world while staying true to themselves.